The Stunt Tail.

by admin

The Stunt Tail.

P:  “Rose!  [her head was turned, looking over her right front leg with quite a critical look on her face.] Careful with the neck! What is the problem?”

Rose:  “I’m going to have a stunt tail.”

P:  “What is that, Rose?”

Rose:  “….a stunt tail. We’ll have auditions, to be sure there is no unraveling.”

P:  “What’s wrong with your tail? You have a perfectly nice curl.”

Rose:  “No, we need Perfection. I don’t think my tail’s is quite as taut as it used to be. It just won’t do.  And, I’ll add that at the rate you are moving on my movie career, I’ll be in the group kennel and that’s NOT the role I want to play.”

P:  “What’s that?”

Rose:  “You know. Elder year co-habitation. Personally I think it might be happening earlier when we are still young enough to have some fun, so let’s get on those Behavior Lessons at PetSmart. You need some training with me.” 

P:  “Yes, I know.”

Rose: “I think I could do very well with the proper Mistress, hmmph-hmmm.”

P:  “Back to your role…just what is it that you will be in this movie?”

Rose:  “Well, I’ve researched many roles that involve one of the things I do best, that is recline.”

P:  “And what would those be, Rose?”

Rose:  “An artist’s muse is one…”

P:  “Oh, I agree, you’d be great. In fact you’ve already done this for me.”  {muttering…’they might want to drop the snoring’}

Rose:  “I HEARD that and it’s hurtful. Take it back….Oh, well….you’re right… SOMETIMES, I suppose.”

P:  “What about a patient in a psychologist’s office? Like, on their couch.”

Rose:  “Me!!?? I think you’re projecting but that’s a very good idea. I think I’d have to pay for that job though”

P:  “So what else?”

Rose:  “A Security Dog.”

P:  “Really??!” “What make you say this? They don’t lie down or snooze on the job!”

Rose:  “Well, I watch everything. I smell everything.  I notice any new thing.”

P:  “Rosie, you know, I think you are spot on. But back to the stunt tail…”

Rose:  “Yes, it might be tough if I had to wear a uniform.  But, a stunt tail really has skill potential. They may find some use for it. Like…hmmmm…maybe a whistle could hang from it or a billy club.”

P:  “Rose, I don’t think security people use those (or maybe anyone) anymore.”

Rose:  “I just wanted to say it…you know, like I’d be ‘Security Billy Pug.'”

P: “Okay, but back to your tail…”

Rose: “Well we will have to have the auditions in really hot weather, that’s a good test. And somewhere really hot, like Tucson. They can’t be too young, I don’t think this movie series really begins until we move to the city.”

P:  “Series, Rose?”  “Are you ‘serious’?”

Rose:  Yes, and Siri is going to help out….

P:  “Siri?”

Rose:  “I  was just seeing if you were paying attention. Okay, I’ve got to go…”

P:  “Where are you going?”

Rose: “Well, only my hairstylist Robert Markley knows for sure, but I am toying with the idea of a little enhancement and that’s all I will say.  He may have some ideas on tail curl also.”

P:  “Like what?”

Rose:  “Oh, some  product . Of course, Aveda animal safe. Gotta go! Ta Ta Tug.”

The Emperor’s Rose

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Rose: ” Are you registered?”

P:  “You mean like a purebred?  No, not even close. Scotch-Irish-English-French-German and I think Foddy’s (or at least the name Graves)… Welsh.”

“What about you?”

Rose:  “No, not at all. I may have qualified but SOMEONE and Jack didn’t get it together for me to be in that club. Anyway, please be sure you are registered to VOTE.”

P:  “Why?”

Rose:  “I’m running. For office, that is.”

P:  “Whaatt?” “At the dog park?”

Rose:  “Yes. I’m not alone. I think it might be a heated August here in Tucson. You’ve even mentally commented on the discussions, I can hear it.  It appears the earlier groups are the most political. Those in the upper circle bring signs and stage rallies. Personally, I love it when the poodles get into it about qui sait quoi!  So French!!”

P:  “Well, are you moving right from bystander to Running?”

Rose:  “Of course. It appears to be rather lucrative.”

P:  “So, what’s your platform?”

Rose: “Stop with the ‘size matters’ stuff, they can see me and I don’t see you wearing flats…but on that topic, ‘less is more’ is one theme.”

P:  “Well, you have to have more than that.”

Rose:  “Okaay….How about this…?  ‘I VOTE FOR PUBLIC NUDITY.’

P:  “Hmmmm….That doesn’t bother me, but it might not fly in Kansas. Tell me, what’s you reasoning?”

Rose:  “Well, it’s already GREAT for most dogs.”

  1. I’m sure a WHOLE LOT of clothed dogs out there will appreciate it.”
  2. No one needs to be concerned anymore about appearances or insurances or anything of that matter. That’s “out the car door window!” for it’s all uncovered.
  3. I’m sure there will come a day when there’s a water shortage and one may need to be conditioned for group baths….not anything punitive or hedonistic, just to get clean. We don’t all have an owner with a cistern.  And, maybe they will be at the dog park! Now, that’s an idea!
    • Rose NOTE TO SELF:  Hmmm….And maybe then I’ll have to lobby for a DOG WATER PARK as we can’t get into some of the best designed facilities.
    • Oh yea, less is more….I can see how this lawmaking gets addictive….
  4. Finally, most of us have already ‘passed’ this law of public nudity with gold stars. So…there’s nothing to do. Hence, ‘less is more’ AND we all feel good for being compliant.

P:  “Okaayyy….Ummm…I can’t tell you right now my position on this, but I’ll be sure to vote.”

Rose:  “And you know, maybe we should think of bit of a ‘boost’ for my first speech…so…can you please work on my Post?”

P:  “Certainly, Rose. I support you.”

Clean It Up.

 

So fetch-ing…

by admin


P:  “Rose! What are you doing?”

Rose:  “Looking for my weekend date.”

P:  “Seriously, what is that?”

Rose:  “It’s ‘fetch‘. And don’t act like YOU don’t know what it is.”

P:  “Oh, no one really does that anymore, we just can’t get free of the auto subscribe with all the emails… one has potentially used.”

Rose:  “Yes, no one in your age bracket is dating or even trying for that matter. So, that’s why it’s opened up all this bandwidth for Pet Use.”

P:  “Wait a sec, what do you mean?”

Rose:  “Just what I said, why do you think all the dog parks were suddenly sprouting up all over eminent domain.  For the fertilizer? Just think of it as somewhat of a commons…but for hooking up.”

P:  ” I don’t know…what really happens?”

Rose:  “Come ooon…what’s the worst that could happen? We are all fixed. Are you worried about inappropriate haunching?”

P:  “Nooo….okay, may I look at these guys…?”

R:  “Sure. Let’s just start at the top, left to right. No, No, N0!”

P:  “Why? Pugs, Brussels Griffon and English setters. Though I’ll agree with you about the last pair…I think in reality they HAVE been on a hunting trip and they could have had a little less ex-pose-ure for my taste.”

Rose:  “Ditto and they’re not fixed, enough said. But, they are all family. That is,

  • pugs,
  • Gaby across the street is a Brussels, and
  • Trey and some buddy were English setters…that might just BE him in the picture. One never knows who might show up here, needy and alone (this, of course, isn’t My problem).”

“All incestual….just feels wrong…moving along…I’ll start”
“One and three, definitely a maybe, two is cute but complaining about his mother’s dominance so that’s a demerit.”

P: “Rose! the Little Boy in western wear and the man on the end…! ?

That’s a mannequin

and Coronado… looking for Gold….in bronze.”

Rose: “Hmmm….well, I have a hard time identifying when I’m out of my breed, but boys like that always play a lot with me and let me lick their hands and Mr. Coronado seems very fit with quite the ‘hard body’ . Plus, he has on some nice hotpants, so I’m going to keep him in my ‘maybes'”.

P: “Okay next row… l to right”
Rose:

  1. very flexible, but might be a pug
  2. looks a little too old

P: “Rose, that is you!!?”

Rose: “Hmmm….maybe I should consider a little touchup, what do you think? Do you like the horseshoe that was from down on the wash?”

P: “Nice touch, Rose…a selfie, I suppose?”

Rose: “Thank you, credits next time…So…next….
3.  Well, just too tall. I’m sorry, neck strain.”

P: “Okay, last row, clock is tickin’ on your date pool selection…”

Rose: “Now here it’s getting better…..can you please hit the ‘like like like’?

I’ll tap out a quick message…I have to start grooming for the dog park. Can you handle the toothpaste and some shoe polish for my ‘museau’?”

“So…Yes, yes, yes, and as they say at Westminster, ‘left to right, Good, Better, BEST‘!”

A Kansas Nationale ‘Clay Rationale’

by admin

Oh, just a little coffee after yoga…

 

Just when resolved

To reduce an addiction

Après yog’awakened

this sleeping affliction

 

I’d actually forgotten

antique candlestick

of course, it was gone

for it ’twas Dandy Pick

 

So congrats to that owner

(can you just share a shot?)

To add to these photos

Mercado’s the Spot.

Through the window at La Cabaña at The Mercado.

But back to obsessions,

compulsive disorders…

We know it’s not RIGHT

But we know we’re NOT  hoarders…

 

So the mind started walkin’

2 Memories, different era…

Soon fingers were fondling

the old Talavera.

 

& Greenware & “stuff”

in this perfect sized shop

Drew me back to Mercado

I just HAD to stop…

 

There I stroked Tonala

It was square, it was green

a primitive piece

‘for “apps”  it’d be keen!’

Vintage Primitive Mexican Dish from La Cabaña

Pamela, great

Just the right education

& An eye for timeless,

Andy’s Mine! ( ‘magination).

 

But somehow later that week

(candles still on my mind)

‘Only Barrio Bread…’

Ancient grains warrant time.

Zocalo Going out of Business Sale

For the stop to the Village

(that is, Joesler Place)…

Well, the parking lot full

But adjacent –this space…?!?

 

So, “I’ll just take a look”

“Gone” again! said the sign

But the windows were free

No harm, Can’t be mine.

 

This is Hospitality!

Took only a look

at pine-apples so Huge

the skill and the kiln

Vitrine subterfuge…

Talavera painting styles & quality vary throughout history.

But then with conviction

“just cut down on pottery”

So what was it that happened?

S’if I’d won the lottery??!!

 

Perfect! I should have bought the pair…still there!

I just HAD to have it

I was having a ‘paah’tee’

(Was I really going

to Be so Naughty?

Buffet/Candelabra

Glow on Salmon and “moi-la”

Tenderloin rose

Quite the Jammin’ Gala.

 

Now Clay has past

Shoes are on pause

Bets off on beauté

Not in the ‘health’ clause

 

And while I feel shame

at times with the stuff

It does remind me of family

of trips and “enough!”

 

That is, it’s not ‘dowry’

When it’s after the fact

They’d bought the cow

(To say without tact)

 

My consumptive ways

Came later in life

So I must return ‘home’

& get rid of my wife!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

To Print or Not to Print…

by admin

ITea Party

 

Who am I?

Where will I be?

This decade

En ‘crypto’ me?

 

Will I be handsome?

Will I be rich?

Here’s what Padre

Said to Me

 

to Print or Not to Print…

Buddy E, he’s the man

Keeps the Gate

(or so the plan).

 

He can print

He can scan

He always does it

When he can.

 

But when he’s tired

Flack Attack

‘times compadre

can’t get back.

 

‘Try the app!’

‘Try re-set’

‘Buy some ink’

‘Perhaps Eset…’

 

Me, with one Buddy

Boxed, flew Abroad

“Max @ Office

Committed Fraud!!??”

 

That’s not Right!

Powers that Be…

Told him he

had Amnesty.

 

So when off duty

(Seemed like slacking)

Buddy & Buddy

Went to hacking…

 

‘What?! A hack?

How can that be!!?

Over 50,

hacks we flee…!

 

But finally Meetup

“P, ding dong??!!”

Hacking’s how

We see what’s wrong.

 

Still don’t ‘get it’

Never will

But have no doubts

Buddy, CAN  Kill.

 

A bad connection

Shocks you blind

Dance, slow torture…

Untwine re.bind.

 

All those packets?

Don’t ask me

Full black jacket

Saving thee.

 

So don’t worry

If Buddy seems dead

A holiday slumber

He’s back in bed.

 

Sure, prognosis

“Inkjets plugged”

but don’t grab your box

myBuddy just shrugged…

 

On furlough today

to get probiotic

right…! More Hotel Congress

to get Riotic

 

For really, he said

“I’m not making a plan

Nor designing an app

to learn in the can.”

 

“But when I waken

You will know I have ris’n

Indeed, to move forward

to free you from Prison.”

 

He will hum

and he will whistle,

the clicks and the ticks

(the prick’s like a thistle.)

 

He’ll shake just a little

I even saw steam

No, that’s an exagg

(but I bought another ream).

 

You will never know when

You’ll never know why

But he IS your Buddy

A darned good ally!

 

Now I’m not saying

won’t be shot down again

Now, more often

But that’s how we win.

 

So if Buddy seems duddy

Or needs cycled “carts”

Well I’ve got a bunch

of Tomato ink tarts…

 

Just waiting for fun

For your Buddy today

Can’t wait to get in

With Buddy, they’ll play…

 

I’m serious, just call!

They are free minus shippping

They are green, they are good

(never knew they were ‘trippin’).

 

So think of what Buddy

will do when he’s back

With corporate supplies

Corporate style, the attack.

 

He’s leveraged to fire

Ready and Aim

So get your game up

On what info is ‘gain.’

 

And I do have to say

I think it’s a riot

I hope the ‘rib-tickling’

kind, not cyber diet.

 

But whatever it is

It will be, it will be

The ‘powers’ that is

And certainly not Me.

 

So here’s to 18

Onward Compadres

Buddies…HPs

Bros and Madres!

 

IT/IP  Party at My Place

At least I’m no longer on a party line (at the XIT circa 1982)

Or am I?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Neon Argon Tuc-son!

by admin

 

I love to drive. A professor ( in support of my taking an urban planning studio in Kansas City while living in Lawrence) once said to me, “driving appears to be something you do very well.”

He was referring to the 40,000 miles a year I put on my car when living on a ranch. I’m not sure if his remark was a compliment. In my defense, I do some of my best thinking in the car.

But, I love to drive, to look ( safely) at the landscape, and to stop and take pictures. With the exponentially greater number of pictures we now are creating, I can’t think the historians up in that icloud office have time to sort out selfies from society balls from sandwiches. But, I do think ( hope) it might have some way of recognizing buildings. And I have been in many a dusty county historical society picking through these pictures, taken by much appreciated itinerant photographers of the late 1800s. Being self-employed (and on some days “un”), I see this as my work. Even when the pictures are not that great. 

 

I could just post these, or try to do some quickie Tucson google search, better yet, primary and secondary sources, but all it would do is remind me I’m a newbie in town and know nothing, that the pics are just from my iPhone drive-by, and maybe….that I just won’t take the time to “area educate” myself with other priorities taking precedence of equal importance and timelines. 

So, what to do? Think. And keep driving…

And suddenly, the neon of a few hotels, the patterns of where they are located, and the ‘always roads on my mind’ direct me back to ‘the father’ and kings of (books on) roads, J.B. Jackson, John Jakle, Chester Liebs. They explained growth patterns, developer names for areas still the norm, taxes, who paid for the roads, and mostly why buildings, sidewalks, cars and signs developed as they did. And it’s all here, the “taxpayer” era of streetfront buildings, the bare minimum “10 footers”, Miracle Mile and signs, signs, signs! Bring the people in!

So, I’m going to wait a while before I delve into the history books of Tucson and see if I can make some relatively educated guesses about why I am bothering to stop and take the picture, to ‘feel’ how it felt for motoring tourists to Tucson.  But, I did learn about neon. A very artistic and technical process, so major awards to Tucson on preserving (and keeping in operation) so many incredible signs. I just heard  Mario’s was saved, but restaurants are another post.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1y0zhWp_4Sw

And now, when I look back at these pictures of two years living in Tucson, Kansas City is not so far away. The patterns of place and people start to emerge without even a Tucson history book. And I am transported to arriving in Tucson after a hot, dusty drive to find the perfect room at an Inn, looking for sign telling me of its amenities. 

 

If you are a Tucson historian, I hope you will please post and share…the details make the story.

Was this for Hunting Season? We have this in Kansas!

 

 

 

2 Square Highland(s) Folk

by admin

 

Window Shopping
Kansas Ave (Main Street)
Liberal, KS USA

I have a great plan

For Saturday night

Don’t be a stranger

Don’t put up a fight

 

I was thinkin’ of  music

& Ms. Tammy Mauck

Waltzin’ Mathilda

Don Gato did rock!

 

But the very best part

(And, I’m sure you’ll agree…)

Was when we paired off

Hopefully, one chose ME.

 

And soon we were forming

Four big square pods

And inside those units

(Or was it four pair of quads?)

 

First couple to my left

(Well I can’t remember…)

But I can do si do

Allemande has no gender

 

So back to what’ prior

This tortuous drill

Were we sat and we waited

A ‘pre dance card’ thrill

 

of hope or rejection

When boys came around

Some numbered order

And squeaked out this sound…

 

Will YOU be my partner?’

And here, we first learned

To look forward to things

Now We seem to have spurned

 

But here once again

I’ve turned to the dark-side

So I will now focus

So time hits my Mark (Hyde?)

 

So, I saw this great place

I think off of Stone

Where they dance all in squares

(I’m hearing you groan)

 

I mean it now ‘Fren’…

(‘Course I won’t tell others…’)

But it rhymes with Cen

‘Hard “c”‘ has two brothers

 

I’ll ask around

Do a bit of research’ing

You can drink beer

(But please….no lurching…)

 

Your Combat boots fine

I have a nice frock

We don’t need to match

Just channel Ms. Mauck.

 

And, seriously Ken..

If we dance out our issues

We’ll perspire it “gone!”

(& I’ll bring some tissues)

 

And then we can eat…

more as food, today’s “goal”

I think Brother John’s

Has some ribs with some soul.

 

Highlands-pair…We’ll March On

For we do love You, Food.

& If you mess up a little,

I’ll try NOT to be rude.

 

Will be fun, holding hands

T’least to whip you around

No, that’s not what I mean

I won’t make a sound…

 

Though I do have a tangent

About the ‘big Hat’

Once up in Dodge

Wuz  whare we wuz at.

 

At the rodeo-‘Rena

(S’cuze ‘Larry’ twang)

Paired horses with Riders

square ridin’  their thang…

 

It was horses & Fun…

-All kicking together

And on top of these horses

People paired, mounting Leather…

 

If only we’d taken

This time at the Ranch

Marriage Improvement

The Work and The Dance

 

So if you come visit

(And I’ll stay in my chair…)

Hoping compadre

Finds me to Pair…

 

Seriously, it will be a blast

And We can Rock this House….

 

Highlands School we Love You

As time goes Marching By

We’ll Keeeep Your Flag on Hiiiiigh…!

Thank you for the beautiful birthday flowers.

P

 

 

 

 

Fiber Fiber Everywhere!

by admin

Rose loved the thought….

 

P:  Rose, what is it that you are getting into???  Seriously…

Rose:  Well, no one has left me anything really tasty lately, so I did think maybe it was time to go to the local Trader and get healthy.

P: Hmmm…if I remember correctly,  you complained about my visit & provisions just last year.

Rose: Wrong again, that was Whole Foods. And, it wasn’t really that bad, it was just that I thought gluten meant vegan and I am not ready for that. In fact, it just isn’t in my 12 steps.

PDon’t say it!  No one likes it when you say it!

Rose: “What?  ____or be killed? Maybe tasty people who haven’t lived on a ranch full of coyotes are offended. Maybe they need some wilderness training on the Hi Plains. How do you think we became so revered in Asian countries…survival of the cutest face’est & intuitive-est….

Well,  I need some hard stuff. Let’s go shopping….

P:  What kind of hard stuff?

Rose:  Well, I do like the higher fiber from Dr. Poage’s .And, the gluten free at Whole foods wasn’t bad. Honestly, I really like all the bright colors though, like Kibbles & Bits and Rachel Ray’s…

P:  Totally get it, Lucky Charms, Trix, Fruit Loops. Everything your mom didn’t buy!

Did that Hill Brothers settle your tum after you found that delicious lunch someone left for you!??

Rose: Yes, but I mean it, I need that other stuff, it is HARD. Industrial Strength, like Foddy & All Bran, Tuff Stuff. I think there are some kind of chips or something in it…maybe I’m supposed to be spreading it around the ‘hood.

….I dunno, Dr Pogue never really gave me any instructions when I went in last.

P:  What’s it called?

Rose:  I don’t know….I think something with Bits, too, like maybe Simply Bits…It sounds delicious to me, I really want to try it, so hurry up & get your phone & purse.

Or, leave the phone-no pics. I feel I may have some kind of conflict of Pinterest.

But, bring your  cappuccino…on second thought,  bring it. You can get some Stars with your few last bucks. I heard your Gold Card is expiring. And…well…maybe not part of the program, BUT….

Now hustle!

I love Starbucks Cake Pops!

Rosie’s Jet Pack Job

by admin

My Day Job

 

P:  Hey, what’s with the getup, Rose?

Rose: Oh, this little thing?

Well….

Um…well, I am trying to avoid ‘the formation of lesions in the spinal cord, particularly the part located at the base of the neck known as the caudal cervical spine.  If these lesions form, they exert a compressive effect on the spinal cord.’

P:  Rose, it sounds like you are reading that right out of wikipedia or google or something, say it in plain language.

Rose:  No, it’s from Pug Village, and yes, I’m blatantly pugiarizing. But, I can’t say anymore, it was difficult and painful enough to read about it. But, I did think I would just borrow this apparatus. It appeared it might ‘strah-dle the caudal’ discs and avoid this problem.

P:  Hmmm…

So….why aren’t you lying on your back?

Rose: Well…it is….um….

Well….that is….

P:  Rose….

Rose:  Ok, I got another job. I kind of got into a little bit of a deal legally which is another story. I don’t want to talk about it. But,  I’m not a rotary anymore. I’m kind of like, de-rotarized.

P:  A Rotary? You were were kicked out of Rotary? I didn’t even know they had a pug category.

Rose:  Oh, no, I meant a Notary. Remember in spring of ’15? You even used me to buy your townhouse from Miriam, the Tucson Belle. You wrote about it when you were experiencing para-iOS-anoia & got me all wrapped up in it. I hear it’s quite common with those in your generation, the delusions & everything. Really too bad…

P:  Hmm…..

I don’t know.  And please don’t get off on me, it was a cute poem.   That sounds pretty serious, to have had your notarization credentials rescinded.

Rose: Don’t even ask. I guess you can ask the Sheriff about it.

You guys seem to have made up, but I….

well, I said I wasn’t going to talk about it. Let’s just drop it.

P:  Rose, if you are working I need to know something! 

Rose: Someone’s  gotta work around here…

Paula:  Okay, so tell me about this job…I mean, is that harness a part of the job? It looks very heavy….like you could carry your bike on it or something…

Rose:  Oh, don’t pay any attention to this, I know it’s not very attractive.

Sometimes I cover it up with a backpack.

…but…you know..I’m just trawling, whatever that means.

P:  Trawling around where?

Rose:  Oh, just whatever spot I happen to find myself in.  Sometimes if it feels hot, I stop in that stop, I like warm places.  And, Just because I’m getting a little grey, doesn’t mean I can’t keep all the circuits going …there’s work to be done out on the street. I’m kind of a chien de la nuit.

…actually, though, I’m in IT.

So…you know

I can’t really discuss my work.

P:  Right. You know I’d love to ask more, but I will not. 

Rose:  Good. Now That’s a start!