{"id":3606,"date":"2014-05-31T16:14:48","date_gmt":"2014-05-31T21:14:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/backattheranchwithpaula.com\/coffee\/?p=3606"},"modified":"2014-05-31T16:14:48","modified_gmt":"2014-05-31T21:14:48","slug":"bang-bang-my-baby-shot-me-down","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.backattheranchwithpaula.com\/coffee\/2014\/05\/bang-bang-my-baby-shot-me-down\/","title":{"rendered":"Bang bang…my baby shot me down."},"content":{"rendered":"
\"photographer:

photographer:
Robert Trachtenberg.
photo from
NY Times Mag 8-1-99.<\/p><\/div>\n

When I worked at an Art Museum, what I liked the most about it was that I didn’t have to talk.<\/p>\n

Yes, pretty amazing to hear from me, isn’t it?<\/strong><\/p>\n

But I really did all the time anyway, in the way I like the best. And the other day, I was passing one of the patrons with whom I’d chatted it up while on my post.<\/p>\n[I saw her at the Saturday morning market in Old OP, I was browsing the beets. She was on wheels, parked at the periphery by the parsley, but fully aware of her presence.<\/em>]\n

Paula<\/strong>: “Heeey!” “It’s been a while!”<\/p>\n

Stroller Girl:<\/strong> “what’s up! look at all these colors…makes me wanna’ paint, what about you?”<\/p>\n

Paula<\/strong>: “…workin’ on it, more like drawings….”<\/p>\n

Stroller Girl:<\/strong> “Any new codependents<\/strong> in your life….?”<\/p>\n

Paula:<\/strong> “well, you know what they say ‘54 is the new 65′<\/strong>….I’m getting wiser<\/strong> everyday…<\/p>\n

My Grandmother Millie only made it to 97, though.”<\/p>\n

“What if they bump up that number in the system and make it higher…<\/p>\n

I might not re-set to your sagacity. “<\/p>\n

“You?”<\/p>\n

Stroller Girl:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0“I still haven’t shaken these two<\/em>…I’m going to give them some time…<\/p>\n

I’ve heard if you can get them to three<\/strong> they get a little better.<\/p>\n

I just have to stick with my program<\/strong>….”<\/p>\n

“they’re such whiners sometimes, though. A little self-discipline<\/p>\n

tempered with Gaga-acceptance would go a long way.”<\/p>\n

“But, the food is good<\/strong>…and, it pays the rent.<\/p>\n

so….until I get a Barbie Car <\/strong>and grow a pair<\/strong>, these wheels are as good as it gets,”<\/p>\n

Paula:<\/strong> \u00a0“You know it is nice to have a little of my own space and hi-place, but the solo thing is overrated…<\/p>\n

And I’ll tell you, so is lookin’ out for yourself and growing up….”<\/p>\n

“I’ve now been known to grow a pair, too, these days.<\/p>\n

But,\u00a0only when warranted & I\u00a0really get pushed<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Sugar coated,<\/strong> of course.”<\/p>\n

Paula:<\/strong> “But, I didn’t mean the kids…you know<\/em> what I mean…”<\/p>\n

Stroller Girl<\/strong>: “well, you know they say ‘one is the new 5.<\/strong>..'”<\/p>\n

You know these guy babes<\/strong>, though….I don’t get it.<\/em>..<\/p>\n

Bald is the look<\/em><\/strong> and they’re wearing rugs<\/p>\n

White is the new black<\/em><\/strong> but I’m only seeing it at the roots…<\/p>\n

Who in heaven’s nursery taught them all this stuff…<\/p>\n

Is this supposed to be what we want?<\/em> So much work! \u00a0hi maintenance stuff!”<\/p>\n

Paula:<\/strong> “Well, I think WE did, but it’s kind of a chicken or egg thing, don’t know what came first…”<\/p>\n

“I just look at it as Pay Back<\/strong>. “<\/p>\n

“It’s pretty weird times<\/em>, though…<\/p>\n

just when I thought I must look 80 with all the attention from ‘peers,’<\/p>\n

I mesmerized<\/em> some four year old<\/strong> across a crowded restaurant…cute guy.”<\/p>\n

“It was really pretty flattering …he hadn’t even tasted my fried chicken.<\/p>\n

…really had a nice van, so I was curious about the nod.”<\/p>\n

“I think it was my shoes<\/strong>….”<\/p>\n

Stroller Girl<\/strong>: “Yea, I<\/strong> know that guy….buggy’s a Porsche\u00a0<\/strong>P\u20194911,<\/strong> right?”<\/span><\/p>\n

Paula<\/strong>: \u00a0“Yes! …..and<\/em>….?”<\/p>\n

Stroller Girl:<\/strong> \u00a0“Well, I’m sure your shoes were great, but I think he has a foot fetish<\/em>.<\/p>\n

And remember what they say….”<\/p>\n

Paula:<\/strong> “What’s that?”<\/p>\n

Stroller Girl: \u00a0“I<\/strong><\/strong>t’s only when a babe gives you a key to his Porsche<\/span> <\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\n

that you\u00a0<\/strong><\/strong>know<\/span> <\/strong><\/p>\n

you’re close to winning his heart.<\/span><\/strong>“<\/p>\n

\"Call

Call me Mama…<\/p><\/div>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When I worked at an Art Museum, what I liked the most about it was that I didn’t have to talk. Yes, pretty amazing to hear from me, isn’t it? But I really did all the time anyway, in the way I like the best. And the other day, I was passing one of the… Read More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3615,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[14,46,57,1,38],"tags":[710,711,712,41,713,714],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.backattheranchwithpaula.com\/coffee\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3606"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.backattheranchwithpaula.com\/coffee\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.backattheranchwithpaula.com\/coffee\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.backattheranchwithpaula.com\/coffee\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.backattheranchwithpaula.com\/coffee\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3606"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.backattheranchwithpaula.com\/coffee\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3606\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.backattheranchwithpaula.com\/coffee\/wp-json\/"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.backattheranchwithpaula.com\/coffee\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3606"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.backattheranchwithpaula.com\/coffee\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3606"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.backattheranchwithpaula.com\/coffee\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3606"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}