P: “Rose! What are you doing?”
Rose: “Looking for my weekend date.”
P: “Seriously, what is that?”
Rose: “It’s ‘fetch‘. And don’t act like YOU don’t know what it is.”
P: “Oh, no one really does that anymore, we just can’t get free of the auto subscribe with all the emails… one has potentially used.”
Rose: “Yes, no one in your age bracket is dating or even trying for that matter. So, that’s why it’s opened up all this bandwidth for Pet Use.”
P: “Wait a sec, what do you mean?”
Rose: “Just what I said, why do you think all the dog parks were suddenly sprouting up all over eminent domain. For the fertilizer? Just think of it as somewhat of a commons…but for hooking up.”
P: ” I don’t know…what really happens?”
Rose: “Come ooon…what’s the worst that could happen? We are all fixed. Are you worried about inappropriate haunching?”
P: “Nooo….okay, may I look at these guys…?”
R: “Sure. Let’s just start at the top, left to right. No, No, N0!”
P: “Why? Pugs, Brussels Griffon and English setters. Though I’ll agree with you about the last pair…I think in reality they HAVE been on a hunting trip and they could have had a little less ex-pose-ure for my taste.”
Rose: “Ditto and they’re not fixed, enough said. But, they are all family. That is,
- pugs,
- Gaby across the street is a Brussels, and
- Trey and some buddy were English setters…that might just BE him in the picture. One never knows who might show up here, needy and alone (this, of course, isn’t My problem).”
“All incestual….just feels wrong…moving along…I’ll start”
“One and three, definitely a maybe, two is cute but complaining about his mother’s dominance so that’s a demerit.”
P: “Rose! the Little Boy in western wear and the man on the end…! ?
That’s a mannequin
and Coronado… looking for Gold….in bronze.”
Rose: “Hmmm….well, I have a hard time identifying when I’m out of my breed, but boys like that always play a lot with me and let me lick their hands and Mr. Coronado seems very fit with quite the ‘hard body’ . Plus, he has on some nice hotpants, so I’m going to keep him in my ‘maybes'”.
P: “Okay next row… l to right”
Rose:
- very flexible, but might be a pug
- looks a little too old
P: “Rose, that is you!!?”
Rose: “Hmmm….maybe I should consider a little touchup, what do you think? Do you like the horseshoe that was from down on the wash?”
P: “Nice touch, Rose…a selfie, I suppose?”
Rose: “Thank you, credits next time…So…next….
3. Well, just too tall. I’m sorry, neck strain.”
P: “Okay, last row, clock is tickin’ on your date pool selection…”
Rose: “Now here it’s getting better…..can you please hit the ‘like like like’?
I’ll tap out a quick message…I have to start grooming for the dog park. Can you handle the toothpaste and some shoe polish for my ‘museau’?”
“So…Yes, yes, yes, and as they say at Westminster, ‘left to right, Good, Better, BEST‘!”
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