The Stunt Tail.

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The Stunt Tail.

P:  “Rose!  [her head was turned, looking over her right front leg with quite a critical look on her face.] Careful with the neck! What is the problem?”

Rose:  “I’m going to have a stunt tail.”

P:  “What is that, Rose?”

Rose:  “….a stunt tail. We’ll have auditions, to be sure there is no unraveling.”

P:  “What’s wrong with your tail? You have a perfectly nice curl.”

Rose:  “No, we need Perfection. I don’t think my tail’s is quite as taut as it used to be. It just won’t do.  And, I’ll add that at the rate you are moving on my movie career, I’ll be in the group kennel and that’s NOT the role I want to play.”

P:  “What’s that?”

Rose:  “You know. Elder year co-habitation. Personally I think it might be happening earlier when we are still young enough to have some fun, so let’s get on those Behavior Lessons at PetSmart. You need some training with me.” 

P:  “Yes, I know.”

Rose: “I think I could do very well with the proper Mistress, hmmph-hmmm.”

P:  “Back to your role…just what is it that you will be in this movie?”

Rose:  “Well, I’ve researched many roles that involve one of the things I do best, that is recline.”

P:  “And what would those be, Rose?”

Rose:  “An artist’s muse is one…”

P:  “Oh, I agree, you’d be great. In fact you’ve already done this for me.”  {muttering…’they might want to drop the snoring’}

Rose:  “I HEARD that and it’s hurtful. Take it back….Oh, well….you’re right… SOMETIMES, I suppose.”

P:  “What about a patient in a psychologist’s office? Like, on their couch.”

Rose:  “Me!!?? I think you’re projecting but that’s a very good idea. I think I’d have to pay for that job though”

P:  “So what else?”

Rose:  “A Security Dog.”

P:  “Really??!” “What make you say this? They don’t lie down or snooze on the job!”

Rose:  “Well, I watch everything. I smell everything.  I notice any new thing.”

P:  “Rosie, you know, I think you are spot on. But back to the stunt tail…”

Rose:  “Yes, it might be tough if I had to wear a uniform.  But, a stunt tail really has skill potential. They may find some use for it. Like…hmmmm…maybe a whistle could hang from it or a billy club.”

P:  “Rose, I don’t think security people use those (or maybe anyone) anymore.”

Rose:  “I just wanted to say it…you know, like I’d be ‘Security Billy Pug.'”

P: “Okay, but back to your tail…”

Rose: “Well we will have to have the auditions in really hot weather, that’s a good test. And somewhere really hot, like Tucson. They can’t be too young, I don’t think this movie series really begins until we move to the city.”

P:  “Series, Rose?”  “Are you ‘serious’?”

Rose:  Yes, and Siri is going to help out….

P:  “Siri?”

Rose:  “I  was just seeing if you were paying attention. Okay, I’ve got to go…”

P:  “Where are you going?”

Rose: “Well, only my hairstylist Robert Markley knows for sure, but I am toying with the idea of a little enhancement and that’s all I will say.  He may have some ideas on tail curl also.”

P:  “Like what?”

Rose:  “Oh, some  product . Of course, Aveda animal safe. Gotta go! Ta Ta Tug.”

The Emperor’s Rose

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Rose: ” Are you registered?”

P:  “You mean like a purebred?  No, not even close. Scotch-Irish-English-French-German and I think Foddy’s (or at least the name Graves)… Welsh.”

“What about you?”

Rose:  “No, not at all. I may have qualified but SOMEONE and Jack didn’t get it together for me to be in that club. Anyway, please be sure you are registered to VOTE.”

P:  “Why?”

Rose:  “I’m running. For office, that is.”

P:  “Whaatt?” “At the dog park?”

Rose:  “Yes. I’m not alone. I think it might be a heated August here in Tucson. You’ve even mentally commented on the discussions, I can hear it.  It appears the earlier groups are the most political. Those in the upper circle bring signs and stage rallies. Personally, I love it when the poodles get into it about qui sait quoi!  So French!!”

P:  “Well, are you moving right from bystander to Running?”

Rose:  “Of course. It appears to be rather lucrative.”

P:  “So, what’s your platform?”

Rose: “Stop with the ‘size matters’ stuff, they can see me and I don’t see you wearing flats…but on that topic, ‘less is more’ is one theme.”

P:  “Well, you have to have more than that.”

Rose:  “Okaay….How about this…?  ‘I VOTE FOR PUBLIC NUDITY.’

P:  “Hmmmm….That doesn’t bother me, but it might not fly in Kansas. Tell me, what’s you reasoning?”

Rose:  “Well, it’s already GREAT for most dogs.”

  1. I’m sure a WHOLE LOT of clothed dogs out there will appreciate it.”
  2. No one needs to be concerned anymore about appearances or insurances or anything of that matter. That’s “out the car door window!” for it’s all uncovered.
  3. I’m sure there will come a day when there’s a water shortage and one may need to be conditioned for group baths….not anything punitive or hedonistic, just to get clean. We don’t all have an owner with a cistern.  And, maybe they will be at the dog park! Now, that’s an idea!
    • Rose NOTE TO SELF:  Hmmm….And maybe then I’ll have to lobby for a DOG WATER PARK as we can’t get into some of the best designed facilities.
    • Oh yea, less is more….I can see how this lawmaking gets addictive….
  4. Finally, most of us have already ‘passed’ this law of public nudity with gold stars. So…there’s nothing to do. Hence, ‘less is more’ AND we all feel good for being compliant.

P:  “Okaayyy….Ummm…I can’t tell you right now my position on this, but I’ll be sure to vote.”

Rose:  “And you know, maybe we should think of bit of a ‘boost’ for my first speech…so…can you please work on my Post?”

P:  “Certainly, Rose. I support you.”

Clean It Up.