The Stunt Tail.
P: “Rose! [her head was turned, looking over her right front leg with quite a critical look on her face.] Careful with the neck! What is the problem?”
Rose: “I’m going to have a stunt tail.”
P: “What is that, Rose?”
Rose: “….a stunt tail. We’ll have auditions, to be sure there is no unraveling.”
P: “What’s wrong with your tail? You have a perfectly nice curl.”
Rose: “No, we need Perfection. I don’t think my tail’s is quite as taut as it used to be. It just won’t do. And, I’ll add that at the rate you are moving on my movie career, I’ll be in the group kennel and that’s NOT the role I want to play.”
P: “What’s that?”
Rose: “You know. Elder year co-habitation. Personally I think it might be happening earlier when we are still young enough to have some fun, so let’s get on those Behavior Lessons at PetSmart. You need some training with me.”
P: “Yes, I know.”
Rose: “I think I could do very well with the proper Mistress, hmmph-hmmm.”
P: “Back to your role…just what is it that you will be in this movie?”
Rose: “Well, I’ve researched many roles that involve one of the things I do best, that is recline.”
P: “And what would those be, Rose?”
Rose: “An artist’s muse is one…”
P: “Oh, I agree, you’d be great. In fact you’ve already done this for me.” {muttering…’they might want to drop the snoring’}
Rose: “I HEARD that and it’s hurtful. Take it back….Oh, well….you’re right… SOMETIMES, I suppose.”
P: “What about a patient in a psychologist’s office? Like, on their couch.”
Rose: “Me!!?? I think you’re projecting but that’s a very good idea. I think I’d have to pay for that job though”
P: “So what else?”
Rose: “A Security Dog.”
P: “Really??!” “What make you say this? They don’t lie down or snooze on the job!”
Rose: “Well, I watch everything. I smell everything. I notice any new thing.”
P: “Rosie, you know, I think you are spot on. But back to the stunt tail…”
Rose: “Yes, it might be tough if I had to wear a uniform. But, a stunt tail really has skill potential. They may find some use for it. Like…hmmmm…maybe a whistle could hang from it or a billy club.”
P: “Rose, I don’t think security people use those (or maybe anyone) anymore.”
Rose: “I just wanted to say it…you know, like I’d be ‘Security Billy Pug.'”
P: “Okay, but back to your tail…”
Rose: “Well we will have to have the auditions in really hot weather, that’s a good test. And somewhere really hot, like Tucson. They can’t be too young, I don’t think this movie series really begins until we move to the city.”
P: “Series, Rose?” “Are you ‘serious’?”
Rose: Yes, and Siri is going to help out….
P: “Siri?”
Rose: “I was just seeing if you were paying attention. Okay, I’ve got to go…”
P: “Where are you going?”
Rose: “Well, only my hairstylist Robert Markley knows for sure, but I am toying with the idea of a little enhancement and that’s all I will say. He may have some ideas on tail curl also.”
P: “Like what?”
Rose: “Oh, some product . Of course, Aveda animal safe. Gotta go! Ta Ta Tug.”