My Future(s) InSecurity(ies): Uniforms.

Paula in Security Uniform by Kate Spade

Yes, believe it or not, I worked in Security. And, I must like uniforms because

• I was a cheerleader AND in pep club. So, I rarely got to wear my own clothes to school. Sad, but then, not.
• My school didn’t have a dress code or uniform. Midriffs were FINE in the 70s for the policemen in our parking lot were focused on students OD’ing on school property and had somewhat “locked it down” with open school and 6th-7th hour “off.” So, I’m getting to the fact that Carolyn Howard, our Sue Sylvester, MADE SURE that we had to wear
  • Lancer blue girdle swimming suits and
  • a red romper (not EVEN Our Colors!) for gym.
  • Point: Ms. Howard made sure there was nothing remotely SEXY about gym, even if the school administration (largely men) had larger problems to contain and were ignoring (? uh huh…) the teenage girls’ sexuality vis-a-vis stomach or chest visibility in dress code.
• I worked at the pool in the summers, so I alternated two navy blue tank suit 6 days a week for 8 hours. I’m sure the guy lifeguards’ gym short swimming suits could walk on their own.

An excellent qualification: I have a history with uniforms.

So, it was nothing strange to be wearing this Security Uniform at a large ‘beaux arts’  museum in Kansas City, I won’t mention the name, at least for now.

Here is my uniform there. I’m not sure if this was really allowed, so just pretend I’ve blacked out any name of the museum. It’s backwards so that’s kind of encrypted.

Official

This is how I looked on duty so you can see the whole gig. A gentleman I didn’t know took these pictures and later sent them to me. Nice or creepy? I’ll take nice, kept the pictures.

Was I really behind bars??

And as I’ve enjoyed all kinds of “social” uniforms such as:

• kilts in college,
• fair isle sweaters (but never buttoned up the back though I wanted to) at functions,
• ballet flats in France.
• NOTHING feels quite as good as a real uniform that (usually*) looks just like anyone else’s and carries with it a badge of authority.
  • *that is, I was reprimanded (nicely) about pushing the boundaries. And I’m sorry, the T-SHIRT advertising of the show that we wore on occasional Fridays was an XTRA large, so it really needed a WIDE BLACK BELT.

I hope to somehow have a future in Security Work, though my recent behavior may have eliminated me from the running. I’m making amends slowly, but

• I can be trusted and
• I am honest TO A FAULT and
• I hope the period of “crazy” is coming to an end
  • or at least subsiding,
  • (or at least in presence of my fellow authorities in security and law enforcement.)

To this decade…’to Security and Beyond!’

We will get there.

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