Mostly what I will remember about Kitty Bliss’s father, Curtis, is that I danced with him at Kitty’s wedding. He was a fabulous dancer with a firm hand and said I was “light as a feather,” bolstering my confidence in dormant dancing skills à deux. Four incredible daughters and a remarkable mother, a real man among great women.
A Dancing Story.
Cathy Faber on upright bass in great skirt, George Langston on guitar in yoke.
I’ll have to tell you about Dance Night at the La Fiesta Lounge with Cathy Faber’s Swinging Country Band, La Fonda Hotel, Feb. 4th, 2011. The picture is from the next day at Tesuque, another post, but we were visiting Santa Fe to look at adobe, hear Britt in Cathy’s Band, and eat guac.
3 Kansas cinqgenerians
Britt Alexander, center, and fellow musician friends though not in this band.
Practice…practice
John and Paula thought they’d take a spin, but we were in way over our heads. The dance background was there, though. For in 1981 we were a duo, a Belle of the American Royal (BOTAR) and her GOTAR doing the foxtrot, waltz and cha-cha-cha (see Kansas City Debut and that crowd). This dance occurred after the daughters had been presented to society by their fathers and had performed their curtsy.
We accomplished these dance steps while I held a big feather fan. This fan, I like to think, is in homage to Sally Rand, the famous historic fan dancer from Kansas City. She took fan dancing in the (apparent) buff to a whole new level of fine art while, I know, offering great pleasure for the men. No one ever mentions this in our debutante training, though I think the young girls practicing in this fashion might make a great pre-ball benefit.
The American Royal was a stock show in the old KC Stockyards. Kansas City was a meatpacking and a shipping point for midwestern cornfed beef to be moved East to feed larger markets. Later, the American Royal was an event that brought agriculturists from the provinces to the city as well as those urban people who had interests in agriculture in the Midwest. Mainly, it was established to be sure that Kansas City didn’t forget it’s agricultural roots and role as a breadbasket to the country. The show in the American Royal Arena is now primarily horsemanship, not as focused on interests in the commercial and purebred cattle stock show as it had been in the past.
Two GOTARS at La Fiesta Lounge.
Just a bit about being a GOTAR. This is a rite of passage for young KC men ages 22-30. This included the drummer and the cowboy with whom I was in the La Fiesta lounge at La Fonda in Santa Fe.
A word about the word BOTAR (Belles of the American Royal) and for what word the G represents. I thought it was Guys (of TAR). The men were allowed to go to this party over and over again, while the women only get to have fun the one time that they “debut to society.”
The Graves family was actually not announcing my eligibility for marriage as debutante balls were originally intended to do. They were able to gang two social events by celebrating this at the same time as my pre-nuptial showers and parties, closing the marriage deal just a month after the debut. We are an efficient family.
Note to self: Why aren’t eligible sons presented to society?
This gives me an idea, why not start a Kansas Dance Party for some great bachelors I know. Jack Adams, his KU Phi Delt & Beta buddies, some Pembroke fellas, maybe a few Meade County boys to mix it up a bit, Jimmy Corrales and some of his friends, and of course their moms; kind of like KU Mom’s Weekend.
We cordially invite you
to be presented at the
Bachelors and In-Between Moms & Mortgages Ball
The BIBM&M Ball which could be shortened to BIB, as in “I’m coming out this year as a BIB.”
[I am sure we, as mothers, have all weaned our male offspring long ago, so just in jest!]
- My son’s friends in many fraternities at KU that I have met have a sense of humor.
- I know it could be made into a great guy party, at least with the 2010 Sweeping Rock Chalk Phi Delt Winners who can really cut the rug on the dance floor.
- And, if mommy is actually trying to stay off-duty in their lives for a bit, she might actually be asked to escort them on stage for their bow.
So who’s choosing the tuxes? I’d pick a crushed brown broomskirt weight velvet (good drape) with skinny lapels, “maybe crocskin, buttercream, buttercream….”
…back to the dance story…
So…the then married couple of John and Paula were practicing our two-step by the glass retail cases in the hall to the bathrooms. This was to prevent humiliation and avert collision with this fast two-steppin’ crowd. Several kind people stopped by to offer much appreciated advice.
And this is How we ended up respectively with very good dance partners…
A kind couple…two dance partners that is, Sandi Wright and Randy Forrester took us on.
Sandi is a woman, a teacher, and an author of children’s book about what!!! history and santa Fe prairie dogs!!! (see Prairie Pug) www.santafesam.com. Her daughter in finance was the illustrator and it had just been released in print. It is available at La Fonda bookshop among other places.
Randy was and perhaps still is co-host of Gotta Dance on KSFR 101.FM, Sunday from 7-8 MST, Gotta Dance .
Well, they took us on. Randy could not have been nicer and more fun and more gentlemanly.
Here’s another chunk of a great song of Cathy’s that gives you a feel for the dance crowd. Well, it was there until enforcement…
the moves
After the first dance, Randy moves onto Dance 102 and does a dip. Knowing my neck is always a bit stiff and I wouldn’t want to look awkward,
“what to do with the head?”, I asked.
“throw it back” and that I did. And I have to admit it, I liked it.
Well, don’t ever act interested in anything men do it just encourages them. Soon my hair was grazing the floor and Randy moved right into Dance 103 with the leg extends. Again…I was curious, this was new for me…
So, I threw myself in, head first, or I should say, head back in submission. My father Dean Graves always had a Marine Corps motto I try to live by: “anything worth doing is worth doing well.”
Well soon Randy was supporting my leg at 90 degrees in a split that Carolyn Howard would have been proud of (toe pointed, of course).
[I rationalized my exhibitionism with the idea that Lacy might need to know this someday. My cousin’s first husband’s father and that wife once did a Country Wedding Tango in my Uncle Bill’s Garage Dance Floor, so you never know when you might need to pull out or pass on this move to your children or grandchildren. I hung in there until Randy and Sandi called it a night, and we took a rest to watch Cathy, the guys, and Britt.]
Hillbilly Hoedown….so here’s the closure to the story.
The dance crowd had cleared out. Out of nowhere, a man in high-waisted wranglers cuts in on us and swings me off to center stage without even a “may I?”. A complete stranger, no compliment, and he took me to a whole new set of dance-bases that I’d never even heard of, sort of a jig.
I am sure I looked both scared and scary.
help me!
And… where’s John??!!! (bathroom? smoke?)
Where’s Britt? (….lost in percussion).
I’m trying to make eye contact with someone…where’s Dave Wood when you need him?
The exit
John’s finally returned, witnessing the finale. The grueling ordeal finally ended, and I stumbled over to Britt’s jazzette saying, “I’ve got to get out of here, goodnight.” I make the exit motion to John who’s asking…. “who was that?”, grab my coat and bolt for the lobby.
The next day by email I apologized to Britt for any embarrassment caused by his high school friend. I also used it as an opportunity to hold another responsible for my behavior, asking, “why didn’t you help me?!”
“Well, you looked like you were having a good time,” said Britt.
John’s comment, “he’s playing the drums…what’s he supposed to do?”
Well, I embarrassed myself a bit, but no regrets.
And give Thanks to God: My children weren’t there. But mostly grateful; I’m the one with the camera.
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