Dance With Who Brung you

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"Cathy Faber, Bill Hearne, John Inmon, Gruene Hall

Cathy Faber, Bill Hearne, John Inmon. Gruene Hall.

I first heard “Dance with who Brung you” from Bill and Bonnie Hearne at the Adobe Bar at Taos Inn, the living room of Taos. And it is on their great CD, Celebration! from the La Fiesta lounge at La Fonda Hotel. But, I don’t want to pirate and can’t find a u-tube, so the above version is also fun.

You’ve got to dance with who brung you, swing with who swung you, life ain’t a 40 yard dash. Stay in it for the long run, in the long run you’ll have more fun if you dance with who brung you to the bash.
Bill Hearne, from Celebration! Live at La Fonda with Bonnie.

First heard at Adobe Bar, Bill and Bonnie live, Taos Inn. An Adams Family Christmas in Taos.

  • dance when the music’s playing, even alone in No Man’s Land. And if you came by yourself, make sure you are first on your dance card.

Joyland Park, est. 1949. Wichita, Kansas. noon Friday, 17 June 2011.

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I started my day at Blackhawk Crossfit in the Get Fit class.  After our abs, I noticed Kim’s shirt.

Kim in her Joyland shirt.

Always interested in historic places in Wichita, I asked about her shirt and the place. Joyland was an Amusement Park built in Wichita in 1949, a  Wichita institution. Joyland was home of the Skycoaster, the oldest wooden roller coaster still standing in America. Kim’s shirt says, “Last warning, do not stand up.” This sign sat at the peak of the first hill on the ride. A sound warning in a day before we were physically barred in.

Joyland Wooden Roller Coaster, painted white.

I mostly want to just share the pictures. But, Kim said that the wood is a special wood from Florida that is very hard and does not weather. The structure is still sound, with some tweaking for function, of course. It was painted white prior the the Park’s closing as the psychology of the weathered wood wasn’t understood by riders. The thought was that the white paint refreshed its look and instilled confidence.

Closeup underneath the tracks.


Underneath view of Skycoaster cable system.

Bringin' it home with the skids.

They are in the process of raising funds for a renovation of the Park which has been closed for over 10 years and fallen into decay.

Entry to Joyland and pink amphitheatre steps.

The scale seemed small in comparison to World’s of Fun. But, upon walking the grounds, it was still Amusement Park scale and spread out over several intertwining areas on a lot sitting back from Pawnee. I’m sure it was fairly rural at that time.

Old stand with toy.

It was fascinating, a point in time that had been suddenly abandoned. No cleanup, no storage, the last night’s toys perched on the ledge.

Motor room.

This was some kind of center of electrical operations, amazingly small.


The panel says, “Rednecks were here.” But, it had been largely left alone. We noted that it would be a great shelter for the men without a mortgage (homeless). But, in Wichita they congregate in a more urban spot under the River bridges by downtown Delano. This would be pretty rural, and there are no McDonald’s around for warmth.

Games below, offices above.

This building with four or five bays had competitive games below, but administrative offices were above.

Old typewriter.

I wonder how the typewriter was removed from offices and landed below?

Shoot for the Stars.

I had to put this in because we had a common background with guns. I lived on the XIT Ranch for 28 years. Kim is a marketer and distributor of replica antique guns, Replica Armory, especially cowboy guns. They are used in re-enactments and films and purchased by collectors.  She has customers all over the world, Brazil, France, Canada. The French are big into historic Cowboy stuff. Some countries have regulations regarding shipping guns even with they are replicas. The are housed in a warehouse and Kim is the liaison between storage facility and end-user. This is her blog.

Roller skate.

There was also a place to roller skate and we found this shoe with orange bumper on the toe. It would be like Mission Roller Skating Rink off Johnson Drive and the French Market off Metcalf, all rolled into one. But,before anything in Johnson County ever existed.

Bugs Bunny Easter Egg Drawing.

This sat in an arcade over by all the kiddie rides. The easter eggs were still scattered and shattered all over the floor.


I’ll call this picture above and those below: Homage to Randy Knotts and our evening at ESPN Zone. If I’d only known the historic character of these games, I’d have suffered less from ADD this night in Chicago with our families.


This was some kind of submarine underwater game.

Ticket booth to Ferris Wheel.

Men's urinals.

The restrooms had suffered a fire but they had been very attractive. White subway tile with black tile trim. I have never seen such sustantial men’s urinals, not that I’ve seen many.

The Old Woman who lived in a shoe.

This was pretty tiny, only big enough for a small person or two.

Perfect size purple door.

Wacky Shack.

Cut off hand.

We are in Wichita, and I lived here when they caught Dennis Rader, the BTK killer. So, a hand like this in an area that would be rather spooky and sinister at night gave me a moment’s pause.

Kim and her after sale cop car.

This is Kim’s car. She said she was merging one time a bit above the speed limit to avert a wreck and was stopped. I would think this would be terrifying. The officer commented on her driving which she defended on safety. And, he said, “your car does attract quite a bit of attention.”   I can imagine they aren’t really pleased. I had actually thought someone in our crossfit group was a police officer. But I thought perhaps this officer had fallen on hard times. It’s  stripped and with a bit of hail damange.

Tall enough to ride!

Joyland sign. Skycoaster in rearview.

It was a lovely morning. So glad I asked about the shirt and we headed out to look right after our class. A new friend and an old hangout. That might become a new gathering spot. So I love seeing this Skycoaster in its 60s with some age and interest. And capturing a place in time which could go shiny or decay, but will nonetheless never be the same as it was today.

Wagons Ho! Quinter, Kansas.

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Go West, young woman. Bring your samsonite. Paula à la Horace Greeley Adams.

I know that if I was ever on a Wagon Train across the Prairie in a former life, I most certainly would have had a large trunk labeled “outfits west.”

This is a story to be added to, for the good Kansas girls for whom it was a rite of passage are climbing out of the sideboards. So far, Sally Malley Stevenson, Barb Goolsbee Bollier, Ginna Getto, Linda Warwick Manco and Terry Beach & R. A. Edwards daughters with whom I have to follow up.

I only know how I got there. My grandmother, Mildred Evelyn Lee Ward grew up in Hays, where her father was a professor at Fort Hays State University. This was one of numerous Kansas History outings we took, a few others being the Garden of Eden in Lucas and fishing at Juan Madden Lake though I think it now has another name. There were two other driving trips to southern California and Texas, but many, many to Santa Fe and Taos.

If you’re new to Kansas, skip this next.  Unless, as my father Dean Graves would say, you like to follow Kansas family history as you would a sporting event. He’s very good at it, I might add. I do it because my mac tech guru understands better than I that perhaps my only “point” is in fact some people and relationships and places recorded at a given time in Kansas through the eyes of one woman, though who really cares?

The first year we went with Marianna Kistler Beach of the Museum with the beautiful Chihuly chandelier at Kansas State University. She and Millie were friends and friends of art. My grandfather was the young lawyer partner of Ross Beach, Sr. and then Marianna’s husband Big Ross who passed away last spring. Ross was, among many, many other things, Jerry Moran’s first campaign manager. Anyway, Marianna’s grandgirls were a bit older and we didn’t know them before, but Terry Beach married R.A. Edwards, Lawrence. For the SMEasters, Senator Harry Darby’s four daughters were Radar Evans’ mom, Mary Alford’s mom, Harriet Darby Gibson who’s husband my father worked for at Darby Steel Corporation in college, and Joanne Darby Edwards who married Roy whose family owned Rudy Patrick Seed Co.

Millie Ward, Marianna Beach, and the Graves and Edwards girls.

Millie Ward, Marianna Beach, and the Graves and Edwards girls.

Gina Graves, Millie Ward, Paula Graves

My grandmother looked like this all the time, though this was a “sport” dress of sorts. I mean, we all slept in a covered wagon in sleeping bags, so how she pulled this off I’ll never know. I don’t think she was wearing any pantyhose, though. The Lee women were pretty ahead of their time on that one, ask my mother.  I don’t think she had a pair of slacks until she was in her 90s. More about Millie later.

But, she has that determined look on her face and I know she was thinking, “I’ll see to it that one of these girls ends up in Western Kansas working in the arts and history before she moves to her apartment on the Plaza (or house in Santa Fe) to watch the lights and go to parties with artsy people.”

Already trying to get attention from the wrong men.

But enough about me for a bit and a little about the clothes…we’ll see how wordpress likes this, may have work out the quirks….you could also re-post these in the blog or be guest poster bloggers but that’s a lot of attention to ask of you for posterity.

Ginna Getto I was about 12 or 13 also and went with my mom and a family friend. I remember there was an old, old cowboy who had a horse who did tricks. There were people from all over the world on our trip. I remember feeling kind of sorry for the folks on the trip who weren’t actually from Kansas. I wore a dress and sunbonnet and whole deal one day, but what I most liked was riding along side of the wagon train on a horse.

8 hours ago · 

Sally Malley Stevenson I went in 73 and I wore the “little House on the Prairie Dress I really thought I was Laura Ingalls!!!!! Remember how scarey the Indian raid was??????

11 hours ago · 

And below, just for the record I got like triple mileage out of my prairie dress with the Hays Centennial, Wagons Ho! and some other historic event I can’t remember. I’m hoping Ginny saved it so my great granddaughter can wear it for the parade by the Toon Shop when Prairie Village celebrates its centennial in the marketplace in 2057.

But enough about me for a bit, the Hefners were the family who started Wagons Ho! primarily Ruth Hefner.

Letter from the Hefners delivered by pony express expressing concern for the "little pioneer friend" carried off by Indians to "still be with us at the end of our trail."

I just googled and it is interesting when I think that she was just a bit older than I am at 53 in this picture. I wanted to be their beautiful daughter Barby who played the guitar. What they provided in terms of capital outlay in wagons alone, access to private property, assembling the cast, music, food, sweat equity, family, and love cannot be described in pictures, just people whose lives they influenced.


Deceased Name: Ruth C. Hefner
Ruth C. Hefner, 89, Oakley, died Wednesday, Sept. 14, 2005, at Logan County Manor, Oakley.

She was born Feb. 28, 1916, in Dighton to James and Angeline (Wristen) Coberly. She graduated from Dighton High School and attended Fort Hays State University.

She married Frank C. Hefner on Aug. 13, 1939, in Gove County. He died May 6, 2004. She was a homemaker and founder and operator of Wagons Ho, Gove.

Survivors include two sons, John Hefner, Newport Beach, Calif., and David Hefner, Gove; two daughters, Ann Bowman, Hutchinson, and Barbara Hefner, Santa Fe., N.M.; a brother, Glenn Coberly, Gove; eight grandchildren; and 11 great-grandchildren.

Services will be at 1 p.m. Monday at United Methodist Church, Gove. The body was bequeathed to the University of Kansas Medical School for anatomical research.

No visitation is planned. Memorials are suggested to the Wagons Ho Historical Record, Quinter, Logan County Manor, Oakley, or Modern Homemaker’s Club, Gove, in care of Schmitt Funeral Home, Quinter.
(Hays Daily News ~ September 16, 2005)

Yes, Sally, that Indian Raid was super scary.

As I said on facebook, the picture still scares me.

I have this note from the first trip in my sketchbook with the Indians.

Blounds have more fun.

Secretly, I was dying to get carried off by those ethnic bad boys….took me a while but I got’her done.

I've never received anything like this kind of attention from cowboys.

Watch out for that one, Millie never warned me that cowboys can dress up like Indians.

And last here’s a picture that my Grandfather Paul took of me with Rosie, he was ever the photographer with trusty Leica.

This makes me sad because I rode her when I was 5 and then again later in this picture. My old friend that I'd returned to has long since died but we will meet again.


It was my pleasure. Thank you Hefner Family for that moment in time.




73 and 74, water, arts&crafts, drama, denise

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  • By 1973, Denise Rabius was there.
  • SME top: Liz Frost in splits, Denise Rabius, Marthe, Polly Johnson; bottom Paula Graves, Sally Burger, best counselor ever Carol Blehm 2nd from right

  • And maybe this was the year Sarah Jones, Madelyn and Karen came but again they’re in a different cabin. I don’t know if our mothers did cabin requests?
  • Sarah Jones, Marthe, Liz. I judge the year on breasts and my haircut. This may have been our last year after 8th grade but if so, Liz certainly matured quickly, you'll have to ask her the date.


    71 and 72. Windle Wisp, Gunny, music, Marthe

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    Marthe, Liz, Paula and I think back of Anne Thomas's head in foreground departing for Minneapolis from KCI, 1973?KCI,

    I was driving to town yesterday afternoon at 5 and Four Strong Winds, a camp song came on 63 Outlaw. I pulled over to call Marthe so we could sing together but I was out of range, so pleased she was so accessible even for a minute at her new media position at Hallmark after just a month. Reached her at 6:30 after errands and we talked camp.

    It seemed like everyone played the guitar and brought them to camp at least after a year or two of lessons at Toon Shop in the Village. Ridiculous in my case. I had really wanted to take the twangy banjo, Glen Campbell and all, but didn’t get arranged, maybe too un-feminine at the time. Marthe did play the guitar and does my son Jack who I also had haul off his guitar to Cheley. After the first summer he would forget it with a whole different music genre in 90s though I think pre-i-pods which would have been forbidden anyway.

    Paula and never-to-be played guitar, 1971.

    Marthe’s next-to-oldest sister Elise was a counselor or CIT when I went for first time after 5th grade, instantly mesmerized by the Dreher women.

    The Graves girls and the Dreher girls, no brothers.

    These older beautiful young women guided and nurtured us and French mama Elise played her guitar.

    CITs from KC, Carol Blehm, Elise Dreher, Carrie Ball, Julie Jacobs

    All ages of young women, we sat around a big campfire at the foot of steep steps from the lodge on the hill where we ate.

    clockwise: Lodge, canoe house, dock, and steps back up. Ring 'o fire between steps and boathouse at grade.

    Still and all in a circle singing great songs, Marthe and I remembered others played at night in the early 70s; The Great Mandela and Four Dead in Ohio were two. It smelled of pine, smoke, and I’ve never known such quiet as Minnesota at night, the wind blows and coyotes sing where I live.

    As usual, the Marthe-Paula telepathy was all lined up for she was just sending me a link for a card shower for the Camp Director Maxine Gunsolly’s upcoming 85th birthday. See Sherwood Forest Camp Deer River, MN history for best information. Marthe knows, too, as she was a counselor there in college with Ann Morrill. Marthe gave me her family background connection. Georgeanne Dreher, Marthe’s mom, was a Pi Phi at KU and friends with Maxine Gunsolly who was a Kappa. The Dreher’s would host the movies every year to tell people in KC about the camp that Gunny had taken on from previous owners in 1951. There was also a Dreher Salina connection and Molly Maloney from Wichita went to Sherwood Forest Camp.

    Gunny: Maxine Gunsolly

    Gunny was beautiful and I don’t know her age in this photo, I’m must have been 45ish when I met her in early 70s. She was beautiful and handsome, tan skin, curly hair that ageless look and square cheekbones like a combination of a young Barbara Bush with the confidence and reassurance of Ol’ Golly in Harriet the Spy. Helen, her assistant Director and longtime companion, had white hair. They were a team.

    Sherwood Forest Camp Counselors and Staff, 1971. Gunny and Helen at lower left.

    So many of us in Kansas went to Gunny’s camp, especially those of us with mothers who supported local and this incredible KU woman committed to shaping strong women. A new alternative to other more traditional old school Minnesota Camps, Camp Lake Hubert for girls (Lisa Mann) and Mishawaka (Liz Lynd). KC people went north to the Minnesota Lakes, canoeing, sailing and riding. Before this, we all went out to daycamp to Allendale at Barby Powell Allen’s mom’s place to go horseback riding, swim, and jump on the trampoline.

    Those west of Lawrence went to Cheley in the Colorado Rockies for hiking and riding. My mom, Jerry Hesse McGuire, Connie Curran’s mom, my father-in-law Raymond Adams, and my children. After all this riding, I’ve only just learned to suck myself down into the saddle after a brief analogy from my teenage children that helped out a lot.

    Paula in tweed miniskort with yarn ribbon and Gina Graves in suede hotpants & shag, summer 1971

    This is the only year Gina and I went to camp in same session. a) on record before all the camp food I ate and b) pretty great outfits and Gina’s early shag (see Ginny Graves clothes) c)it was the last summer we went the same session. Don’t know if my mother thought sisters needed our separate identities or if my parents could only tolerate one daughter in house at a time.

    These are the years I remember and fellow campers.

    • 1971, after 5th grade at Highlands School. Nancy Falkenberg Puck, my ornery alter-ego and I were best friends and went together (see Nancy Falkenberg and Nancy Mistele, 67th St. construction). We were in Windle Wisp on the Little End of the camp with the grade schoolers. Nancy on bunk beside me, I met Marthe who was on the bunk above me. And Laura Davis who was very stylish, from St. Paul Minnesota, with long dark hair, a husky voice, and wire-framed glasses as were many girls at our camp.
    • The girls from St. Paul went to synagogue or something on Sundays instead of vespers I think because of their not having to go to church I became aware of people being Jewish and going to public schools where almost everyone was Jewish. At SME it seems like we were fairly proportionally Protestant, Catholic, and Jewish and I never really thought about it until college when I realized that Catholics seemed to go to church so much more or at least on Saturday nights.

      Paula asking Ginny for wire-framed glasses, "I'll pay for them."

      I had tortoise shell glasses but this was the move to wire frames, 1972. Wire glasses and braces was way too much metal.

      Indian Hills Paula at left, 2 down Ellen, Polly Johnson of Wisconsin at right. bottom: Marthe and Anne Thomas.

    • 1972 is top post pic, post 6th grade, my second year of camp. Those from KC to be SMEast were Marthe, Ann Thomas, and Ellen Haynes from Prairie; Liz Frost and Sally Burger from Belinder; and Paula from Highlands. I’m pretty sure Madelyn White and Karen Kokjer were there this year but in a different cabin but maybe this was next year. Polly Johnson in the cabin picture above was a dear friend from Wisconsin who I have lost-but-hope-to-renew contact with who came one year for Thanksgiving.

    Paula Graves and Polly Johnson, Thanksgiving 74?

    This is a camp newsletter I found that would come out during the winter season and then we would go to Dreher’s house and watch the movies from the previous summer and enlist new campers for the next year.  The style of illustration is Joan Walsh Anglund who I loved and I think I still have these dolls in the attic cradle.  I don’t know who n.p. was the poet.

    The Robin's Arrow

    the golden colors of autumn
    replace the green of summer
    mist enchanted brisk mornings
    silently prey upon the empty cabins
    August winds echo through the fall lofty pines
    Sherwood is alone
    Remember when we were together? -j.n.

    The Sherwood Forest Girl

    And last, Marthe and I sang together on the speaker phone and said goodnight. I heard taps and the loons.

    Blubs and Boobs

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    "Baby Blub"

    Baby Blubs sum '76: Marthe Dreher, Paula Graves, Denise Rabius, Julie Hise, Kathy Kindred

    The Baby Blubs were the little sisters of the original Blub Club. I guess the date below, 76, is when the photo was taken though their trip which this photo documents would have been summer of 75.

    "Blub Club"

    Gina Graves, Marcia McGilley, Karen Majors, Kitty Wilson, Alison Ball

    Ginny Graves organized the trip and logistics and the list of things to bring, mainly an air mattress and swimsuit.  Dean Graves drove the boat (see Dean Graves and water).  I can’t mention the incident illustrating my mother’s sense of humor because my father documented it on film, very upsetting to her, and it’s a forbade Graves topic.

    Dean the Marine, here as Captain

    Dean the Marine, here as Captain

    We would drive to Bagnell Dam, go on the water slides which I have movies of, then board the houseboat where would eat, eat, dance to loud music, swim, and wave to other guys on boats while my Dad drove us around, finding safe coves for the night. There was also a stop to Bridal Cave so we could see the stalagmites and stalactites and plan our weddings.

    Well, that’s it for blubs, but for what this is really about, boobs, a word we didn’t use in the Graves family, we said breasts, another reason why I hung out along with the Dreher sisters and Dick Dreher.  He would know terms like “superfluous papilla” and when a daughter might find an extra mole, he’d suggest that this might be the issue. I think there was a character in a James Bond movie with one.  The Graves also only used the word bra and when I first heard brassiere, I thought it was a dirty word, so French.

    "Boobsy Twin"

    Marthe and Paula: The Indian Hills Boobsy Twins

    For some of us, it all kicked in early, but eventually we all had them. It was a combination of raging hormones and all that salty food we were eating. Fat molecules deposited with the nurturers, while the guys had only blood molecules to rush to extremities.

    I read in seventeen magazine that men who liked really big breastsa were lacking in self-confidence.  I also read in Vogue that anything more than a champagne glass was too much. Little did they know 30 years later we’d have big slurps. So, getting so much attention from David B. throwing paper clips down my sundress in 8th grade did it for me though it took a while.

    And, back to Blubs, I think we should organize another trip and get the Deaner to drive the boat. Maybe the guys can come too if they get their own boat. It is basically a big floating RV, so I’m not sure if we could all handle the plumbing situation now.

    My beautiful best friend Marfa

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    Once upon a time it started with going to camp at Sherwood Forrest. We flew to Minneapolis and took a 6 hr. bus ride to Deer River. The camp director was Maxine Gunsolly with assistant and companion Helen. I think Maxine was a Pi Phi with Marthe’s mom Georgeanne Dreher.

    "Paula Adams and Marthe Dreher"

    Paula and Marthe en route to Sherwood Forrest Camp, KCI, circa 1973

    Paula: some kind of platform I can’t google on internet for posterity, man hair, polyester with collar (see trendy never pays), macrame by Paula (see handmade). Marthe’s snoopy pudding pillow, corduroy bells, baretraps.


    I first fell in love as we all do with Marthe’s beautiful smile, straight hair, tibetan eyes and sense of style. The dry humor and all the sister beauty and Dick Dreher health tips sealed the deal.

    The first day of Jr. high Marthe wore a brown polka-dotted silk once piece skort with brown suede clogs, probably a hand-me-down. I don’t have a picture so I may have to draw one and post it.

    Mothers, fathers, guys, sons, daughters and sadness all came later, and the laughing is forever. That’s all for now.